Today my OCD looked like:
- Shaking too badly from panic to pour coffee in the morning
- Hiding in the car to eat my lunch (it was pouring rain, it was kind of nice)
- A lot of handwashing (lost count around 25 somewhere)
I got through work without any outward nuclear meltdowns (#goals) which is more than I thought would happen. Leo stayed up late last night cooking me lunches for the week, telling me “I think it’s important right now that you have food made by someone who loves you.”
Which it is, not just on the “love is good for my mental health” level, but also because food safety is one of my huge OCD things, and I’ve been having a lot of trouble eating lately. Having food that my brain thinks is “safe” is basically dictating my eating. Still been drinking my blasts though, which I think have been responsible for most of my vegetable intake this week.
My brain is already trying to talk me out of going to a team workout tomorrow night, so I’m going to spend today and tomorrow trying to convince it otherwise. My long run this weekend was…less long than a lot of my teammates, since I’d recently missed a few long runs, but I did run for 2 hours, and was generally pleasantly surprised at how far I made it in that amount of time. A lot of people made a point to tell me they’d read my blog and offer support, which means a ridiculous amount. This continues to be really, really hard, but knowing that there are people in my corner is incredibly helpful.